all i want for christmas is one of the strokes in my stocking.

ha ha ha!

b. and i have officially split.

for now that is. 

we've broken up twice before, but that's natural right??  i mean, he's just too smart, he has a smile that makes my tail wag, and he has cheekbones that a gal wants to squeeze with her inner thighs.

i doubt it will last very long.  it never has before.

this was all about the infamous failed threesome event.  yes, the threesome was my idea to begin with.  yes, i initiated the whole event. 

but no, i didn't want the video camera.  no i didn't realize that i'd get weirded out that this girl was sexier and waaaayyy more experienced and into that i was.  no i didn't realize that i would get all bugged out how b. would get into it.

i mean shit, i found her attractive too but not as attractive as b.  but when he went for her with more intensity than me.  and she moved with more grace and sureness of her movements --- well, i just didn't like it.  so there.  i'm selfish, but i was not going to be upstaged.  so i called off the show.  i cut off the camera and rewinded it and once it was done rewinding during the "discussion" i hit record and secretly erased it all.  yep.  everything on the tape.  including b's personal stuff before the threesome taping.

oh well.  serves him right for not changing the tape from art-stuff tape to exclusive porn-stuff tape.

okay.  time for bed.  i sleep alone tonight with buzz.  oh yeah, i named my vibe after a toy story character.  both disney and buzz make me feel all tingly inside...and out.

one of the many differences between men and women is our need to tell the world every little detail as soon as something happens.  for some reason most men seem to be better secret keepers.  then again, perhaps it has something to do with repression.  guys pretty much hide the fact that they occaisionally “turn to a magazine”.  the night after, my girlfriends and i occaisionally comment slyly “guess what i did last night?” and then reveal a snippet that might be better fit for a penthouse magazine.

why is that?  is it because women are now liberated and our sexual revolution is a hip trend?  i know that i wouldn’t want to hear how some guy masturbated last night.  if a girl tells her story it’s significantly more acceptable to me.  i guess it’s a lot more sexy to hear the female side than it is the male side of those stories.  then again it might just be me.

so let me just say that perhaps i talk too much.  perhaps women in general talk too much.  is that a bad thing?  perhaps men don’t talk enough.  then again when it comes to pleasuring themselves i think men should keep those details a secret.

i could tell the story why i thought i was bi,  i could tell you the story of why i do not like threesomes.  i could tell you the story of how i suggested a threesome last week and provoked it and how i became disgusted with it before things got really involved.  i could tell you the story of how i had to stop it because it’s just plain crazy to do.  and although it’s my nature to tell every little detail, i think i’ll keep this to myself.

for once.  or did i already say too much?